Silence

I had my breakfast.
I gave up the button that started a liberal conversation,
I mourned the lack of freedom of speech,
I stopped talking.

I walk across campus, silent people everywhere
The look of despair on their faces, the feeling of helplessness in the air,
I empathized with them,
I had nothing to say.

One particular person helped me more than I could imagine,
They convinced me that I am still valid, that my thoughts are still important,
They cared for me, even if just for twenty minutes,
I spilled my secrets to a stranger tonight.

Lost hope, no more

Please don’t study for 21 hours and sleep only for 3,
Please don’t worry yourself into a panic about deadlines,
Please don’t lose yourself while worrying about the whole damn world,
Please don’t.

Pamper yourself, get that bubble bath,
Go buy a pint of ice-cream and watch that thing you like,
Block people who are negative, put photos up of your friends,
Self-care is important.

-               —  Me, learning after a semester of breakdowns and lost hope.

Complete this List

I want to watch movies with someone
Have some cheesy popcorn to accompany my cheese
Lose track of time as the sun comes up
The rays illuminating their beauty

I want to chill with someone
Both of us doing our own thing
Distracting each other at points
Making memories as we go along

I want to have a food fight with someone
Maybe I’d be the one starting it
Maybe I’d be the one running away
Ending it with sweet kisses

I want to talk to someone
Exchange deep secrets, or just funny moments
Each word bringing us closer
Each memory melting into another

One day, there will be a someone
Someone who will complete this list with me
Till then, I’ll be patient
Till then, I’ll be waiting

Love is not a choice; neither is sexuality

I saw a post on Facebook today, and it upset me, made me happy and then upset me again.

Confused? Let me explain myself:

An acquaintance of mine made a post about how a person they knew thought gay people were sick. Said acquaintance of mine tried to reason with him, but to no avail.

I was upset because such people exist, happy that my acquaintance was an ally, and upset because apparently having decent human thoughts is a big freaking deal in my head?

Eons Away

This came out of nowhere,
and it feels like the worst time,
but when I see your face,
time seems to slip away.

You most certainly aren’t perfect,
definitely not for me,
but when I see your face,
the words just flow out of me.

I know I will regret this one day,
and I feel like you might, too,
but when I see your face,
that day seems eons away.

Just be

Relationships don’t have to be romantic for them to be beautiful.
It’s those little things about you that they remember because they’ve actually paid attention.
A mention of painful shoes and they know which one it is.
A mention of a specific friend and they remember me talking about them.
A complaint about a sad day and them knowing how to make me feel better.

These things seem so little, but they are so much.
They are the culmination of something you started a while back,
The realization that they like you as much as you like them,
Things don’t have to be romantic for them to be perfect,
They just need to, well, be.

If crazy equals genius, I'm a rocket scientist

Today feels like a very normal day. I got up late, had breakfast and entered my lab so I could start working. But everything feels so different, because my usual study playlist will now remind me of last night and all the amazement that came along with it.

After the longest time I got to see Panic! at the Disco, live, last night. When I say the longest time, I am not kidding.

Yep, I had bought the ticket way back in February, when I was not even sure if I was going to be in Dallas in July. There were potential friends who couldn’t come along, there was a chance I couldn’t have gone, but somehow everything worked out in my favor.