En Garde

You tell yourself, be on your guard
It's a new place, nobody knows you
If thinking everyone is against you is what it takes to succeed, do it.

You fail.
In your defense, it was way too difficult.

Speech is like a pretty snake.
It's beautiful, flowy, and distracts you, but in the end, it's probably full of poison.

So, you start over again.
But,

You keep these experiences in mind,
Like a machine learning algorithm – Observe, Learn, Adapt.

Always remember, be on your guard.
It's when you let your guard down that it hurts the most.
If keeping people at a distance is what it takes, do it.

The Mess You Made

I have a chest of memories, with multiple compartments
Most are on the surface, visible to everyone,
A certain few haven't been revealed in years

As you gain levels in our friendship, I give you access to more of these memories
I presume you do the same for me, because what is friendship if not sharing deep dark secrets and not being judged
But then something happens and you slink away

Leaving my chest open, all my memories strewn about
Leaving me to pick up the pieces and move on
Leaving me to clean up the mess you made

I hope you find another friend to confide your secrets to

But...

I hope you don't break their heart the way you broke mine
I hope they realize they aren't at fault when you move on, yet again

Assumption

Think about the way you emote when you speak

That upwards tilt of sarcasm

That high-pitch of curiosity

The break in your voice when you try to hold onto those tears

Take all of this on social media and none of it is projected

People misunderstand, people obfuscate

You're stuck at the cliff, all by yourself, instead of supported by a million others

All your kindness is taken for weakness

All your support is taken as a stunt

The next time you call someone problematic,

Keep all of this in mind, try a little tenderness

You both might be on the same side,

except you made a decision to assume too early.

Just be

Relationships don’t have to be romantic for them to be beautiful.
It’s those little things about you that they remember because they’ve actually paid attention.
A mention of painful shoes and they know which one it is.
A mention of a specific friend and they remember me talking about them.
A complaint about a sad day and them knowing how to make me feel better.

These things seem so little, but they are so much.
They are the culmination of something you started a while back,
The realization that they like you as much as you like them,
Things don’t have to be romantic for them to be perfect,
They just need to, well, be.