NaNoWriMo Day 3: Please Stop the Small Talk

So, this is late.

No, I did not stop writing two days in.

I’m just socially exhausted, but you’ll see why when you read ahead.

Day 3: Please stop the small talk

Today’s agenda included going to work, going to an event about 50 miles away, then staying over at a friend’s place. You can already see why this month is perfect to talk about my day.

NaNoWriMo Day 2: Center of Attention

Today started off on a really weird note.

I usually wake up at 6 to get ready for work. I sometimes have these dreams which almost seem on the brink of reality with how detailed and imaginative they are. (Damn you, mind, for being so creative!) I sometimes feel like I can experience sensory details inside these dreams because of how immersive they are.

The notes I’ve written for today morning’s dream right as I woke up include this: (because you tend to forget details through the day)

Dream involving two kids get home
Try to get them out of the dream so that they can write a bit on my blog

It’s almost funny as to how nonchalant 6 a.m. me was about dragging people out of a dream. Or am I ruining some sort of alternate universe timeline by revealing these details? (Dun dun dun!)

NaNoWriMo Day 1: State of Limbo

NaNoWriMo is something that I always want to commit to. Back in the olden days (like 4 years back), I actually wrote about 30,000 words of fanfiction in November 2013. I used to wake up at 4 am to talk to my friend in Greece, and we used to write together till it was time for me to get ready for school.

However, times have changed, I read more than I write, and I don’t have the free time that undergrad promised me I would have for the rest of my life. So, no, you’re not getting trashy Glee fanfiction which can be used as fodder for burning fires this winter. (Yes, I’m stretching this metaphor. Yes, I know it’s shitty. It’s also my blog.)

Instead, this is the first of 30 wlogs (like vlogs, but w - because I’m writing, not recording a video) of the next 30 days. In these days, I plan on documenting my thoughts and experiences each day, and trying to get something unique each time. This month (spoiler alert) is going to be more eventful, so I think it’s a sign that this was meant to be.

If you are in this with me, you can follow my blog (look to your right), and kick my butt if I’m not posting every day this month. I promise to be slightly entertaining, and give you my opinions on shows and music if I have nothing interesting for that day.

The Mess You Made

I have a chest of memories, with multiple compartments
Most are on the surface, visible to everyone,
A certain few haven't been revealed in years

As you gain levels in our friendship, I give you access to more of these memories
I presume you do the same for me, because what is friendship if not sharing deep dark secrets and not being judged
But then something happens and you slink away

Leaving my chest open, all my memories strewn about
Leaving me to pick up the pieces and move on
Leaving me to clean up the mess you made

I hope you find another friend to confide your secrets to

But...

I hope you don't break their heart the way you broke mine
I hope they realize they aren't at fault when you move on, yet again

Assumption

Think about the way you emote when you speak

That upwards tilt of sarcasm

That high-pitch of curiosity

The break in your voice when you try to hold onto those tears

Take all of this on social media and none of it is projected

People misunderstand, people obfuscate

You're stuck at the cliff, all by yourself, instead of supported by a million others

All your kindness is taken for weakness

All your support is taken as a stunt

The next time you call someone problematic,

Keep all of this in mind, try a little tenderness

You both might be on the same side,

except you made a decision to assume too early.

New Year, Blue Me?

It’s 11 days late and I still haven’t posted my New Years’ post oh no! Procrastination FTW, but more like I fell sick and then traveled to another country and was overwhelmed and had to stop and -

WAIT

REWIND

Hello! It’s the new year, but it’s still the same me? Or a more blue me (literally) as my sister convinced me to buy more blue clothes as opposed to the black I usually adore all the time.

I think 2016 was not a very special year overall, but it had so many ups and downs throughout the year that I completely forgot about.

Silence

I had my breakfast.
I gave up the button that started a liberal conversation,
I mourned the lack of freedom of speech,
I stopped talking.

I walk across campus, silent people everywhere
The look of despair on their faces, the feeling of helplessness in the air,
I empathized with them,
I had nothing to say.

One particular person helped me more than I could imagine,
They convinced me that I am still valid, that my thoughts are still important,
They cared for me, even if just for twenty minutes,
I spilled my secrets to a stranger tonight.