Time goes right out the window..

I finally have my music back! 

You would wonder when I lost it, which you can find here. Anyway, I’ve been updating my mobile on the music I like to listen to and deleting the ones that I skip every single time. (Everyone has one of those). I added a few more soundtracks to my list, some violin solos, a little bit of opera with a lot of oldies. It’s been a blast from the past listening to some of these songs and remembering the first time I heard them or sang them at the top of my voice with my sister (go check her out!). And one of these monumental songs: Broken Strings by James Morrison.

I still remember why I loved this song. It originally attracted me because of Nelly Furtado featuring it. But, that slowly changed to the brilliant beat of the song and the video was hauntingly beautiful. I don’t know if I didn’t pay much attention to the lyrics in the tenth grade or just don’t remember them. But one of the lines struck a chord in me (footnote: Look ma, a guitar pun!)

Running back through the fire
When there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train when it's too late

This song is most definitely about a relationship that has metaphorically burnt into ashes and they’re ready to give it up. But, it can be applied to so many different situations which have nothing to do with romance.

My premise, as usual, is friendship.

It’s been a recurring topic of my life. I don’t know if my friends define me, but they define certain parts of my life. I remember my school due to a group of girls who wanted to take over the world. Junior college was spent giggling on the first bench and talking to the teachers very casually because they knew how sincere my friends and I were. Engineering college: well, it’s still ongoing. But I can definitely remember them fondly and the experiences we had together during that period of time.

Sadly, time is fleeting. It slips away. I think there’s a song like that somewhere, but I digress. As much as you identify people with parts of your life, you sometimes lose contact with them as well. It’s not a difficult concept: You don’t meet each other anymore, you might be in different streams with different schedules, if not a different lifestyle. Making it work so as to meet your friend becomes difficult if it’s not a two-way street.

It’s even worse when you’ve proclaimed a friend to be your BEST FRIEND FOREVAHHHH! (Everyone has that phase as well). Your neighbours ask you what happened to that sweet little boy who lived down the street near your old place. There’s a point of nostalgia where you look through your old pictures and find one of your group posing cutely. Bonus points if there is a picture just of the two of you smiling like crazy. 

As I said before, it’s a two-way street. You can’t keep in touch if the other ones doesn’t want to. Sometimes it’s a game of chicken. Both have issues, and wonder if the other person doesn’t like them anymore. It is a sad point, but you know it’s true. That goes on forever, unless one of the aforementioned two actually goes out on a limb and messages the other. I have been on both sides of this relationship (read: Platonic, only) 

When you are the sender, you really need to have a strong system of support in case it doesn’t work out. There are a few ways in which this can pan out

      1) There’s only so many times you can type hi into the chat window till you realize you’re just      chatting with yourself and there’s no reply from the other side.

I love comparing this situation to a person tweeting a celebrity.  I would do it myself, if my sister does not mock me for tweeting something over and over and over.

       2) The other person replies about five hours later even though they were online in the middle, giving some excuse about how studies is sucking their life, and then posting pictures of their new group hanging out.

This happened to me in the last three months, and thankfully I had wonderful support in few of my friends, who took me out that evening itself.

    

      3) The other person actually wants to meet up within the weekend or the next, because they have missed you to all hell, and just wants to hug you for 10 minutes.

This is my favourite way for things to pan out. I’m a hugger, and that moment in time where you can physically affirm your friendship is the best thing in life.

         4) Variation on way 3: They say all this, but then never make solid plans to actually meet.

Apart from way 3, it’s a very difficult position to be in. Rejection is a state that no human likes, unless they’re a masochist with respect to feelings. It’s a slippery slope where one message can make you go search for the ice-cream, or make you doubt your whole self-worth.

My advice would be: Keep close the friends who want to keep that connection with you. It’s the support that will help you later on as you transition through life and experience strange, new events.

Example: The friends from junior college? They’re still my best friends. I have a photo frame of them near my bedside, we meet up for coffee at least once every month, and celebrate each one’s birthday with much gusto. I talk about all the time in real life, to the point where people who don’t know them know their names.

As a friend of mine says: Try your best. If they can’t spare an hour of their time to meet you, then **** them. You have other friends who love you just as much, if not more.