Maturity: A subjective concept

Music: Doctor Who Soundtrack (Season 5)

Maturity is such a subjective concept. A studious person may seem mature to a person who likes to delay work till the last moment. A person drinking wine may seem mature to someone who prefers beer. Maybe someone reading this post finds my comparisons of maturity as immature.

In the last year, I have changed a lot. I used to be the person who slammed doors, shouted at people, cried because no one understood what I was trying to say and so on. Now, I’m a person who actually understands that everyone’s priority may not be the same as mine. It doesn’t mean that I’m the most mature person out there. Definitely not.

It’s a trope in shows to make one of the people in a relationship slightly immature, while the other one entertains their little tantrums, because it’s cute. It actually isn’t. Sometimes, it’s frustrating. Sometimes, you just bear it because you just don’t want to start something. This applies not only to romantic relationships, but also social or friendly ones. Situations arise when you realize that your friend might be the petty one out of the two of you or you are the person who can think objectively about the situation. You can’t actually force a person to grow up. They either like their bubble too much, or it is an ingrained part of their personality.

About two years back, I had a fight over something pretty silly with a close friend of mine which led to me shedding a few tears at a bus stop. Now, I think over it, make a decision and move on. I also find that releasing these negative feelings work. Not exactly when the person is right there because you might end up saying words you don’t mean, but a few hours later. 

To a person in their early twenties who has an aim in life, a person in the midst of adolescence will certainly look immature and they might not have anything in common to talk about. Even if they do, the opinions of a person change as you grow up. What seemed the most important thing ever in your teens might become absolutely inconsequential as you grow up.

Sometimes, I feel like my blog posts have no direction, but is just me rambling onto an empty Word document. Sometimes, I feel like this is necessary for me to let go of emotions I hold onto. Because one part of me, which I sometimes hate, is that I remember things. Good or bad. It’s not such a good thing in certain situations.

To lighten the mood after all the "mature" thoughts I've put in this post, see this and smile:

Time goes right out the window..

I finally have my music back! 

You would wonder when I lost it, which you can find here. Anyway, I’ve been updating my mobile on the music I like to listen to and deleting the ones that I skip every single time. (Everyone has one of those). I added a few more soundtracks to my list, some violin solos, a little bit of opera with a lot of oldies. It’s been a blast from the past listening to some of these songs and remembering the first time I heard them or sang them at the top of my voice with my sister (go check her out!). And one of these monumental songs: Broken Strings by James Morrison.

I still remember why I loved this song. It originally attracted me because of Nelly Furtado featuring it. But, that slowly changed to the brilliant beat of the song and the video was hauntingly beautiful. I don’t know if I didn’t pay much attention to the lyrics in the tenth grade or just don’t remember them. But one of the lines struck a chord in me (footnote: Look ma, a guitar pun!)

Running back through the fire
When there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train when it's too late

This song is most definitely about a relationship that has metaphorically burnt into ashes and they’re ready to give it up. But, it can be applied to so many different situations which have nothing to do with romance.

My premise, as usual, is friendship.

It’s been a recurring topic of my life. I don’t know if my friends define me, but they define certain parts of my life. I remember my school due to a group of girls who wanted to take over the world. Junior college was spent giggling on the first bench and talking to the teachers very casually because they knew how sincere my friends and I were. Engineering college: well, it’s still ongoing. But I can definitely remember them fondly and the experiences we had together during that period of time.

Sadly, time is fleeting. It slips away. I think there’s a song like that somewhere, but I digress. As much as you identify people with parts of your life, you sometimes lose contact with them as well. It’s not a difficult concept: You don’t meet each other anymore, you might be in different streams with different schedules, if not a different lifestyle. Making it work so as to meet your friend becomes difficult if it’s not a two-way street.

It’s even worse when you’ve proclaimed a friend to be your BEST FRIEND FOREVAHHHH! (Everyone has that phase as well). Your neighbours ask you what happened to that sweet little boy who lived down the street near your old place. There’s a point of nostalgia where you look through your old pictures and find one of your group posing cutely. Bonus points if there is a picture just of the two of you smiling like crazy. 

As I said before, it’s a two-way street. You can’t keep in touch if the other ones doesn’t want to. Sometimes it’s a game of chicken. Both have issues, and wonder if the other person doesn’t like them anymore. It is a sad point, but you know it’s true. That goes on forever, unless one of the aforementioned two actually goes out on a limb and messages the other. I have been on both sides of this relationship (read: Platonic, only) 

When you are the sender, you really need to have a strong system of support in case it doesn’t work out. There are a few ways in which this can pan out

      1) There’s only so many times you can type hi into the chat window till you realize you’re just      chatting with yourself and there’s no reply from the other side.

I love comparing this situation to a person tweeting a celebrity.  I would do it myself, if my sister does not mock me for tweeting something over and over and over.

       2) The other person replies about five hours later even though they were online in the middle, giving some excuse about how studies is sucking their life, and then posting pictures of their new group hanging out.

This happened to me in the last three months, and thankfully I had wonderful support in few of my friends, who took me out that evening itself.

    

      3) The other person actually wants to meet up within the weekend or the next, because they have missed you to all hell, and just wants to hug you for 10 minutes.

This is my favourite way for things to pan out. I’m a hugger, and that moment in time where you can physically affirm your friendship is the best thing in life.

         4) Variation on way 3: They say all this, but then never make solid plans to actually meet.

Apart from way 3, it’s a very difficult position to be in. Rejection is a state that no human likes, unless they’re a masochist with respect to feelings. It’s a slippery slope where one message can make you go search for the ice-cream, or make you doubt your whole self-worth.

My advice would be: Keep close the friends who want to keep that connection with you. It’s the support that will help you later on as you transition through life and experience strange, new events.

Example: The friends from junior college? They’re still my best friends. I have a photo frame of them near my bedside, we meet up for coffee at least once every month, and celebrate each one’s birthday with much gusto. I talk about all the time in real life, to the point where people who don’t know them know their names.

As a friend of mine says: Try your best. If they can’t spare an hour of their time to meet you, then **** them. You have other friends who love you just as much, if not more.

Ridin' on the wind and it never goes away...

You know how people say, “If only my life were a movie and this song would be the soundtrack to it!”

Well, I have one of those conditions pat down. My geekiness over shows and studies doesn’t exactly warrant a movie, but the amount of music I listen to would definitely fulfil the soundtrack portion of it. Just check my music player. You’d be pleasantly surprised at the diversity of genres.

Why this article? I mean, so many others would have made playlists on 8tracks to show their love for their music. This is to show what happens when I am without music.

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We all know the despair of earphones slowly losing their power. You adjust the wire into the phone so that you can hear the parts of Bohemian Rhapsody playing in each ear. You twist the wire in weird ways to listen to Chester scream out parts of Faint. And most, you keep adjusting so you can avoid weird people noises while travelling home.

In April 2014, my earphones had started reacting on me again. I had a rubberband that I tied the earphones into when it came to the perfect sound that I needed. I pressed the volume button on my phone in vain, that the volume might increase just a tad more. It was submission time, and I needed my music so I wouldn’t freak out over the lack of study in my life.

By the end of May, I couldn’t listen to much music on my phone due to final exams. I managed to listen to it on my laptop. I have about 20 gigs of music on the laptop and 65 on the hard drive (not to brag :P), so it’s easy to choose a particular artist or genre to listen to while studying.

June was done, I was ready for vacation while trying to figure out the earphone problem. Thinking back, I was so dumb. I was blaming the earphones when they were working perfectly on the laptop but not on the phone. I spent all my travel reading A Song of Ice and Fire and fanfiction instead of listening to music. That is exactly when my mood started going downhill.

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You must understand, to me, music is actually therapy at times. When I’m feeling sad, or I’ve had an argument with a friend, I’d listen to peppy music or songs that I like to make me feel better. There’s something cathartic about singing Hurricane or Explorers at the top of your voice. When I want to sing along with my family, I play BeeGees and Abba. Singing Don't Stop Me Now at the top of my voice and harmonizing to Waiting for the End with my sister is something I adore.

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Back to the story. We had to go to Tamil Nadu for vacationing with extended family. I regretted the lack of hearing power in the phone but couldn’t do anything. I let my friend put on her earphones while I continued with my saga of reading books on the bus home.

It came to a point where I was terribly blocked with respect to my writing, just because of my music. The thing that inspires me the most was not there anymore. It was absolute misery. It came to a point where I was worried if I was losing my grip on my creativity.

But now, it is all better. I got my phone repaired last month (I even used a Blackberry for those three days), and I still make the art that I love and write like I usually do. ( I made that scroll below :D)

So, listen to all the music that you do. Don’t let anyone music-shame you, if you like that pop song, turn up the volume and start dancing!

And here is a playlist of my all-time favorites just to shake you up from the doldrums of life:

XO

From Yesterday
Everything I do (I do it for you)
Faith

Guilty all the Same

Happy Little Pill  

Heart on my Sleeve

Heist

Hysteria 
Voulez Vous

P.S. Post title was inspired from Madonna's Music. Sorry for the link heavy post.

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Music mentioned in the whole post (Alphabetically, then by year):

30 Seconds to Mars
From Yesterday, A Beautiful Lie, 2005
Hurricane, This is War, 2009

ABBA
Voulez Vous, Voulez-vous, 1979

AVICII
Heart on my Sleeve, True, 2013

Beyoncé
XO, Beyoncé, 2013

Bryan Adams
Everything I do (I do it for you), Waking up the Neighbours, 1991 

George Michael
Faith, Faith, 1987 

Linkin Park
Faint, Meteora, 2003
Waiting for the End, A Thousand Suns, 2010
Guilty All The Same, The Hunting Party, 2014

Lindsey Sterling
Heist, Shatter Me, 2014

Madonna 
Music, Music, 2000

Muse
Hysteria, Absolution, 2003
Explorers, The 2nd Law, 2012

Queen
Bohemian Rhapsody, A Night at the Opera, 1975
Don't Stop Me Now, Jazz, 1978

Troye Sivan
Happy Little Pill, TRXYE, 2014